Quick Thoughts
Small thoughts and messages not worthy of their own pages but still something I feel like putting out there. Largely curated and possibly lightly edited from my posts and discussions in the WFM server.
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Regarding creating a limit list, you can look at bdsm checklists to get and idea of things to start. I don’t know any off hand but they should be googleable
Like “no permanent damage” is a good place to start usually. Or if some permanent damage would actually be okay (scarification or tattoos, etc) where that line is. Common limits are like cutting and stuff. Which may not be an issue for you. But you probably want anything that will land you in the hospital on the limit list (it’s not a given, especially if you play particularly hard).
When people don’t know what limits to say or say something bad like “I don’t have limits” the easy answer is “okay well would you let them cut off an arm? No? Congrats, you have a limit. Now you have a place to start working towards where your real limits are”
(and if they say “yes” – run, you probably don’t want to play with that kind of fire)It’s not about creating a comprehensive list.
It’s about providing some boundaries so the dominant knows at least some limits to stick within.
Being told “I’m a masochist – do what you want but just don’t put me in the hospital” is a very wide limit, but having that limit at least indicates that that person knows how far they’re willing to go.
Being told “I don’t know what my limits are, we just need to discuss what you want to do first so I can think about it” is honest and opens things up to negotiations and still provide the dominant with boundaries to play within when they say the things they want to do and you’re like “yeah cool let’s try that, I don’t think any of that is a limit”Being told “i dunno, let’s just play” isn’t . . . great
For your safety, and theirsI have a large document that details the things that I’m into along with known limits.
It’s not an exhaustive list (although it feels like it sometimes)
But it is 12 pages
Organized with headers
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