Quick Thoughts
Small thoughts and messages not worthy of their own pages but still something I feel like putting out there. Largely curated and possibly lightly edited from my posts and discussions in the WFM server.
-
Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a sub. Doesn’t matter what you do or how you feel about the things you do, what your dynamic structure is, what kinks you do or do not enjoy or how you enjoy them… but if you identify as a sub, you’re the only person whose opinion matters on that. Gatekeepers can fuck right off. They aren’t worth your time and don’t let them make you question whether you’re really a submissive, or whatever.
Unless you are doing a genuine introspective because you want to. But do that for you, not because someone was trying to make you feel invalid. You are valid as a sub.
I haven’t seen the “you’re not a real sub if…” BS in a long time, but I think that’s more a factor of being extremely choosy of the kink spaces I spend time in. If you identify with a label, that’s what matters. You can use that label to help communicate with others, or as a research guide to try to learn more about yourself, but if aspects of that label don’t apply to you you can leave them behind, or pick a new label. Or pick no label at all.
For example – I identify as a submissive. I’ve also been known to top over the years, and have a lot of experience on both sides of a flogger. I don’t let this detract from the fact that I am submissive. I’m just a submissive that will switch on occasion or for specific reasons. The gatekeepers (and some people who just meant well but didn’t know better) have tried to tell me I’m a switch. Except I’m not – I’m a submissive. And their opinions mean nothing at all.
Comments
There are currently no comments on this article.
Comment