Bratting Needs Negotiation

Posted on June 24, 2023
Word Count: 413

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Bratting is something people do with consent, just like any other part of a dynamic. It needs to be negotiated. So if someone is being annoying and it’s not something the dom is into, that’s just called “being an asshole.” So being playfully defiant, breaking rules, trying to get around rules, etc., as long as the Dom is into it then that’s bratting and it’s fun.

Too many people hide behind “oh I’m a brat” like no, you’re being a jerk, cut it out. But in a healthy dynamic it’s a lot of fun for both parties. The brat gets to act out, then gets put in their place, and the dom gets to put them in their place. Fun for all.

People hide behind “I’m a brat” like people hide behind “I tell it like it is / I don’t pull punches / I’m just a very direct person” or whatever. It’s a way to be a jerk and try to get people to excuse it and it gives bratting a bad name

Definitions vary but in the end, we do what we do with consent only. So.
If you’re a serious brat style sub, you need a serious brat tamer style dom.

However, there are also social things that we do. And we all get away with being playful and annoying to each other if the other one is into it. Ideally there should be explicit negotiation, but that’s not how people interact outside of kink dynamics

If someone on the WFM server who has “consented to all” (and who has already talked to me before so we’ve got a bit of a rapport) says something annoying in my general direction, and I have the bot shame them, that’s a very light example of a bratting dynamic. It’s something that’s happened multiple times and was never negotiated, but we’ve felt it out and everyone is amused. We can’t really escalate from there without either a lot of slow testing and interactions, or direct negotiations, but it’s definitely something that happened without any explicit consent, but with only implied consent. And mistakes get made that way, but the stakes are low in a situation like that.

Now if someone who I’ve never really interacted with like that starts giving me shit and mouthing off in my general direction with the expectation that they might get punished, that’s just being an asshole. “Oh I was so mean, maybe you should punish me” like no, fuck off