Financial Domination & Control

Posted on June 26, 2024
Word Count: 1548

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Note: There is a bias in this writing where I expect dominants to more or less have a handle on their own fucking money. I know this isn’t always the case, but there seems to be a trend that dominants have more of their shit together so that’s the angle I’m coming at this from.

The narrow definition of findom that “everyone” knows is that a finsub enjoys when a dom (usually domme) has control of their money in a reckless way. The dominant demands tributes of money and/or stuff, and the sub sends them money and/or buys things for them, sometimes to the financial detriment of the sub (which sometimes is the hot part).

This has led to many kink spaces online being overrun with “Findoms” / “Findommes” (not actually ethical dominants, more like Predators) looking for their next victim. The more they can get the better because they’re doing it specifically as a way to bring in money. This has given financial domination quite the bad name, especially since these predators often use unethical practices to hook people.

The thing is, that’s not the whole picture. Financial domination has a much wider definition than many people think. A lot of D/s dynamics even include some form of findom, but they don’t even realize it because it’s not what they expect findom to be.

There’s nothing wrong with the more well-known findom setup as long as both parties are consenting and the dynamic was negotiated. (There’s a lot of toxic bullshit in the kink spaces though! There are many predators looking for new finsub victims, so be careful out there!!) But there’s so much more to it than that. You don’t have to be into spending money to get into findom. Just think about controlling money as one more aspect to control for the submissive.

Fun Ideas

• Make the sub write out their monthly income and expenses and write a monthly budget (make them stick to it, and revisit it regularly to ensure it continues to serve its purpose)
• The sub has a weekly or monthly allowance (for necessary expenses) and must ask permission to spend anything over that amount
• Alternatively, give sub a monthly savings requirement and they can spend anything they want past that as long as the bills are paid and that savings requirement is met
• Make the sub research high-interest savings accounts, CDs, or other accounts or investments they could put their money into
• Debts? Require the submissive to put together a debt repayment plan: timeline, realistic goals, and if applicable, research debt consolidation options. Review the plan and help the sub stick to it.
• Assign the sub to watch financial education videos on youtube, or read books on personal finance. Require a report on what they learned at the end and what they could apply to their situation.
• Hypothetical investments – task the sub to pick a few investment ideas (stocks, bonds, mutual funds, whatever, go for diverse), and track them over time to see how they perform. No money to actually be invested here; the goal would be to learn how different investments work, and see trends and risks.
• Task the sub with reducing their monthly utility expenses – using less electricity, reducing water consumption, etc. Review the bills together to come up with ideas of how to reduce them and monitor progress.
• Task the sub with improving their credit score. Help the sub review their credit report and come up with a plan together to improve the score. Review and reward progress.

The dominant gets $0.00 out of all of those. All of them are for the financial benefit of the submissive, not detriment.

If you’re helping your sub get control of their finances (or your dom is helping you), and you’re doing it as part of your dynamic, congrats, you’re doing findom.

My Ideal

So, right off the bat, my thoughts on money are a little different than most people’s.

As a submissive, I’ve been trying to gain access to my dominant’s (Tim’s) bank accounts so I can monitor them, and do the same for him what I do for me – watch the money, come up with ways to make it go up, move it around to make it go up. I absolutely chase interest rates. It hasn’t happened yet, but is on a list of things we’ll eventually do. It’s not an immediate concern as he has a good handle on his money so mostly I’d just be working on micro-optimization he doesn’t bother with, and we’ll get around to it eventually.

Not exactly a classic finsub, but it counts.

On the reverse, I’ve met some subs (and vanillas but that’s not what I’m talking about here) that could really, really use some help getting their finances in order. Writing out their income and expenses, figuring out how to make it through the next few months and still like… save something. To the point that I kind of want to take that on.

I would personally love to get control of someone’s finances. Get a handle on what their regular necessary expenses are, cut things they don’t need, set a budget and an allowance, and make them do things to get access to excess money if they want to spend beyond the amounts we negotiated. My favorite idea is a long complicated form they would have to fill out along with a waiting period before it gets reviewed and approved/denied (and oh, I don’t know, maybe the forms might get lost once in a while, oops). I don’t know why but the thought of putting someone through that is a bit of a turn-on for me. Must be the other side of my suffering kink taking shape here – if you want to spend your money you’ll have to suffer for it and just maybe I’ll let you have it.

While I think this is just fantasy, I’d love to set up some way that a person literally didn’t have access to a portion of their money (while it still being in their name so if something happened they could always just call the bank, verify their identity, and have access to their funds again – I do not want to actually take anything from anyone), so they were stuck with a smaller account with spending limits. I don’t actually see that going well, because it would be possible to still overdraw such an account and run into bigger issues, so I wouldn’t realistically want to set that up. Instead, it would just be enforcing spending through budgets and rules.

It just sounds like a lot of fun to force someone to save, and build a cushion for when things go wrong, or just for retirement… whether they like it or not.

Thinking Bigger

I looked into potentially studying for and getting a Series 65 License to be an investment advisor (because otherwise you can’t give investment advice legally, not even basic things like pointing out CDs or mutual funds). This is on my list of things I think I might want to actually do at some point.

I have not, however, laid out the path to this idea, what I’d need to do to get there, how much seed money I’d need to get started. What other certifications I might need. I do at least have an Accounting degree so I’ve got a start. I figure part of the path may actually be working for a financial planning company to get experience in the field. So. Yeah. Long, long term idea, and probably not happening.

But what an idea!

I don’t think I’d really want to do this as a long-term job, anyway – the money would be in large clients that I know I’d have trouble going after, and not the small accounts I’d actually be interested in managing. Although I suppose one large client could fund handling smaller clients that couldn’t afford but still really needed the help. I don’t know. I doubt it’ll ever be a thing, I just like thinking bigger; always thinking about that next business opportunity, I suppose… I do like the idea of learning more about investing, so I’m still considering the Series 65, and I definitely still love the idea of taking on a finsub just to force them to get their accounts in order and make them suffer a little along the way for my entertainment. Will I? Who knows…