Quick Thoughts
Small thoughts and messages not worthy of their own pages but still something I feel like putting out there. Largely curated and possibly lightly edited from my posts and discussions in the WFM server.
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Forced “relaxation” tonight (play session).
I don’t know how much I really consider it relaxing, but I will be forced to not think about con for a little while… It’s really hard to think about anything other than what’s happening in the moment when I’m uncomfortable and/or in pain. So it helps with the usual stress stress, especially when my stress levels are high like now.Pretty sure it’s just replacing one stress for another, but it’s . . . different stress. I guess.
Looking forward to it. And fuck… I really need it 😭
It’s always a nervous “what am I getting myself into” kind of feeling. But being nervous is also part of the fun
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The best pic of me ChatGPT w/ DALL-E 3 could do in like 20-30 minutes of back and forth. Wildly inaccurate of course, but I’m amused at least 😂
Honorable mentions
and damn this one is really pretty
I wish I looked like that
I miss the red streaks in my hair. It was so much work to do and maintain though 😭
I do enjoy screwing around with AI art and seeing what pops out. It never quite matches what I’m actually going for though. Need to drag out the art tools if I want to actually get something out of my head. But it’s great for just generating things, or generating my own references like – okay that’s how I want the eyes to look, I like the shape of that one’s face etc lol
and the occasional off the wall generation is always great
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No time for full play session but got messed with a little bit tonight and that was nice ❤️
It was a fun evening. Nothing too serious or intense. Cuddling. Squeezed my neck a bit. Pulled my hair a bit. Pinned me down. Few smacks.
Light fun 🙂 -
It was my mild anxiety attack over making the appointment for the COVID vaccine in the first place that kicked that whole thing off
I picked a day. And a place. And got into the process but had trouble finishing it[in reference to handing over medical control]
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omg I just … need to share this somewhere.
I am handing over management of my medical appointments to Tim.
And holy cow is that hot. And scary. And hot.I’m not particularly good at making medical appointments in general, and I have some personal issues that make me fairly averse to many of them to start with, so I’m going into this fully aware that I’m going to be required to do things I wouldn’t otherwise be willing to do on my own. Details TBD, and I of course can flag anything I’d have a real problem with.
Overall it makes me feel very . . . owned.
To quote serra: 🫠
I’ve felt flushed for like the last hour.
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I feel kind of lucky that I learned about BDSM early. Gave me a lot of time to really explore and try things.
But I know if things had been different I would have ended up here anyway eventually. It’s very much a part of me -
I started researching BDSM when I was too young to be allowed to be in spaces like this.
Dear god I’ve been in the scene for 25 years 😭
I’m not allowed to be this old -
Welp. I’m doing a BDSM Q&A panel at con this year with Tim. Because we needed more panels, and it’s a topic I know a shit-ton about. And if it’s a Q&A session I don’t even have to prepare for it. Just show up and answer questions. If no questions then we just talk, whatever lol. Also the 18+ programming is always super popular
Exploring Safe and Consensual Dynamics (18+)
Because we couldn’t just call it “BDSM Q&A” when it’s an all-ages con.
Join us for an open Q&A session, hosted by two seasoned practitioners with extensive experience in the lifestyle. Whether you’re curious about or actively involved in BDSM, join us for an informative and respectful discussion on understanding consent, trust, boundaries and effective communication.My favorite part about the panel so far is his response to the description I came up with:
> Weird to think of myself as having extensive experience but that’s probably right. I’m just getting old 😅 -
I like to make my own floggers. They aren’t perfect but I love them all the same 😄
They range from not mean at all to kind of mean.
I have a thick cow leather one I made that I made a special rotary cutter for so I could get the tail super thin (1/8” IIRC)
It’s thud because it’s heavy, like 100-125 falls, but it’s sting for how thin they are and how thick the leather is. It’s something else. -
I do avoid telling people in a vanilla setting though unless the topic is already there for some reason. Mostly because I don’t care enough. But I also don’t want to make people uncomfortable. When I was a teenager/early 20’s though that was one of the main things I signaled, telling people if the topic even kind of maybe related 😓
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I’m actually really annoyed. I thought I had a good handle on my issues and over the last couple years some things have been surfacing that I either wasn’t aware of, or I thought wasn’t as big of a deal as it actually is. 😑
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We don’t really have a punishment dynamic in place, at my own request. I will game any system you put in front of me and it leads to a bad place in the dynamic.
I obey to the best of my ability. If I start falling down on what I’m supposed to do, or have actual trouble with it we talk it through and figure out a plan on resolving the issue somehow.
If I want something unpleasant to happen, but I really just fucking want it, I just have to ask. Because suffering kink 😅
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Punishing for food indiscretions can be problematic as doing so can be a source of eating disorders or worsen existing ones.
So. Realistically, no, you shouldn’t be punished for buying a candy bar.But if you want it as a “ohhh I was bad punish me”, there are probably plenty of people willing to do that.
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Sharing information builds anticipation
I try to coax plans out of Tim not because I’m worried and want to ease my curiosity but because knowing turns me on more . . . and sometimes it adds that little taste of fear that makes me melt
