Quick Thoughts
Small thoughts and messages not worthy of their own pages but still something I feel like putting out there. Largely curated and possibly lightly edited from my posts and discussions in the WFM server.
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I like “time wasting” tasks in general because my time is valuable.
I have a lot going on, so doing tasks and taking up that time for my partners (both Tim and Sam get my time like this) is a way of expressing how important they are. I will regularly put lots of time into a project to give that project to a partner. In addition to the final piece, the time that went into it is part of that gift.
Tim just gets the added benefit of doing it for kinky reasons, so he can have me do something completely non-productive and the result is that I’m giving him my valuable time, not necessarily a product of that time.
I like handwriting lines. I like being able to repeat something and focus on that for a little while. It doesn’t drown out the world the way a session would, but it mutes it a little if I concentrate and let it.
I actually like the in-discord grounding (WFM server), but due to time value and lack of benefit to him, Tim is uninterested in assigning any unless it’s part of a larger scene or something going on.
I mostly like typing lines, and prefer them with a 1-line penalty.
I am uninterested in counting (WFM server) but would if I was told to. 🤷♀️
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Because I actually had an account and took the quiz in 2020, here’s both results. I’m amused and what changed
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I love impact play
and while I completely understand acting the brat to get it
I’d rather just get it because he wants to give it to me 💖and have to suffer until he’s done
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I personally range pretty closely to obedient, and do light bratting when I find it amusing to do so, but it’s usually trying to obey within the letter of what was said, not the intent, because it amuses me. And on very rare occasions do mildly annoying things, just because that seems amusing.
I have to be in a fairly good mood for that, too. Mildly hyper, usually. (Or very hyper. The more hyper I am the more likely I am to do it.)
If I’m low enough I might disobey out of “what’s the point” but that’s not bratting, that’s something wrong, and therefore a different issue.And when I play with someone as a top, I don’t handle brats well beyond very mild things. Similar to my style of twisting words, but within reason, etc.
Someone says “make me” and I’ll more or less say “no thanks” and bounce.
I’m not much for giving commands all that much, regardless. Most of that has all been bondage and impact play. -
You don’t have to tie yourself in a way that restricts your ability to untie yourself.
Chest and body harness are easy and safe, and give a comforting restrictive feel without actually restricting you. I’ve tied my ankles together a lot. Just be ready to cut yourself out in there’s an emergency, but rope is fun. -
So. I actually use clicker training with my dogs. So I have some issues with clicker training a person.
I honestly see this as a recipe for disaster if you actually clicker train a person with a real clicker
Imagine walking through the park and someone is working with their dog with a clicker. And what if you’re around someone working with a clicker while being around someone you absolutely don’t want to be having that kind of distraction with (family member, coworker, boss, etc.)I am aware that dogs can differentiate clicks when it’s for them vs for other dogs if you have multiple dogs and work with them. But in my (very limited) experience, it doesn’t quite work quite as well once the click itself isn’t always a reward anymore because sometimes it’s for another dog.
So while I assume a human could also differentiate, if you’re going for that immediate physical reaction as a result of a specific sound, it’s ideally not something you want mixed up with other situations.
Use a different sound/object. Same exact concept, but safer IMO.
There are also some ethical considerations when using classical conditioning in general. It really needs to be something that, if your dynamic ends, will either never come up again, so there’s no possibility of it causing issues, or there should really be a plan in place to de-condition before the end of the dynamic. And what’s the plan if the dynamic unexpectedly ends such as if the dominant dies suddenly.
Classical conditioning is a heavy toy to play with when you’re doing it intentionally and should be wielded carefully.
It’s unavoidable in a lot of ways. An easy example is for a long time (like probably 10+ years) the sound of a single slap would get me wet, regardless of the source. It took a long time but finally faded (although now that I’m playing regularly again it may return)
Doing conditioning like that intentionally… just make sure you think it through.
All that said…
Hot. 🥵
I am genuinely interested in playing with things like that, TBH
(NOTE from Tim, that classical conditioning generally expires quickly. However I’ve seen people complain about CC their dominant did to them that affected them later in life in ways they didn’t like. So just plan your risks.)
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So Tim was trying to help me get moving to clean before D&D.
And he kept saying things like “it’s time to get up” or that I “need to get up” … things like that.
and he pulled on me like he expected me to move
and I looked up at him, without moving, and said “that’s not a command.”
And the look he gave me was priceless 😂
Very much a combination of “are you fucking kidding me” and “I guess” and at least a tiny hint of amusement.He followed it up with a direct “get up” and I obeyed but laughed. It was amusing as hell 😏
I had warned him months ago that I would say exactly that if he wasn’t being direct 😁
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I’m not particularly good at bratting with Tim… I came really close once and within seconds was like never mind I don’t want to do this. Other people, sure. I’ve had great fun frustrating some guys, but once I really submit to someone, it gets a lot harder
… not impossible. Just. harder
I think I just need more caffeine
I get a lot more willing to brat when I’m more hyper
Less fun for play sessions though.
I have made the mistake of too much caffeine before a play session and I couldn’t sink into the pain like I usually do. In the middle of impact play I was still thinking about con. And I was just like… never doing this again.
Pain is supposed to “clear the table” so all that exists is that moment.
If I’m thinking about other parts of my life (like con) something’s wrong. And it was definitely the caffeine in that moment.
The world is supposed to be small. Nothing exists outside of that room, that moment. Everything else needs to fall away. -
Was cuddling with Tim on lunch. He’d taken my tshirt and cami away so we were cuddling under covers and I was topless. But lunch was over so I needed to get up. Except it was warm under the covers and it was cold outside of the covers.
And I complained.
And he told me, very clearly, to get up and go to the foot of the bed.
And I definitely had a moment of – why did I ever ask for more commands???
But I did as I was told
And got to stand there, cold, waiting for him to put his shoes on before he gave me my shirts to put on.In spite of the “I asked for this; why did I ask for this???” moment, it was nice
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The words kind of anchor me into the scene, and in subspace.
Without them I tend to spiral into not great places in my head -
In general a “suffering kink” is a close cousin to masochism. For a long time I thought I was just a masochist except it was really only when who I was playing with was enjoying submitting me to the pain, not really in the pain itself.
I mean. I definitely am a bit of a masochist. I do enjoy some pain for the sake of it, but it’s really low-level compared to what I’m happy to go through for Tim.
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Randomly thinking about a recent moment I watched Tim tell his other sub that no, she was going to eat, in front of the friend group. He told me later that he would be concerned about coming off too overbearing around other people, but our friend group can all be quite pushy… bullying each other into self-care 😂
I love that.
Bullying each other to self-care. ❤️ -
If you catch me in the right mood, I will almost always fuck around with the rules in order to amuse myself and others
That’s the motivation for a lot of the bot tools. -
I can’t do cold cold for showers.
I’ve talked about this with Tim. We could go uncomfortably cool but just straight out cold isn’t going to work.He actually pointed out how unlikely it would be to work considering how I react to ice cubes like they’re incredibly intense. Which they fucking are.
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Tim does take away my clothes, but only when we’re together. And only as much as he feels I can handle. If I’m not feeling great or if there’s some other stressor going on, I get to keep more clothes longer.
