Quick Thoughts
Small thoughts and messages not worthy of their own pages but still something I feel like putting out there. Largely curated and possibly lightly edited from my posts and discussions in the WFM server.
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I’m the type that will look someone in the eye and say “I’m into that, do you have a problem with that” when they start talking shit about harmless things like kink and the like. I’m not saying everyone should do that, but my hope it that my doing it puts more of that out into the world that it’s everywhere / anywhere.
More often than not they’re curious and not judgemental. People just don’t understand what they’re not exposed to, and fear and judgement is safer than blind acceptance, because if they accepted something they didn’t understand there’s danger of being judged for it
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I do occasionally read trashy bdsm erotica 😂
Never read 50 shades. Unsure it I’d like it. I kind of suspect I wouldn’t? It sounded like the writing was really poorI bounce off things really hard if I don’t like the writing itself
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IDK how true it is but I feel like the best way to get people to stop thinking about “those perverts” is to normalize it which requires making it be seen. It needs to be out there and in people’s faces and not in an aggressive way, just as a “these are normal people just living their lives, too”
And I believe that for everything. We need more diversity in tv shows and movies. Much more LGBT folk in tv and movies. Like it’s getting better, I’m seeing more gay relationships, but we need more trans people.
I crave more normal BDSM in TV and movies. And I catch glimpses here and there and am happy any time I see even a glimmer of it.
Polyamory in TV and movies. Normalize it. Get rid of the fucking love triangle trope. Let people be non-monogamous and not be awful at it. While it’s not for everyone, it shouldn’t be so mysterious.
I’m seeing therapy in TV and movies more often and not having it be such a weird concept. It’s starting to be destigmatized, and that’s great. More!
I won’t be satisfied until all the marginalized groups get at least some exposure and it’s normal. Not the bad guy. Not the weird guy. The normals. Because we’re all fucking normal dammit. We’re just not classically normal like TV portrays it
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I definitely crossed some boundaries when I was young and stupid and just wayyyy to excited about this whole world I’d gotten into. I didn’t have the best education on consent and have done things I really regret now.
However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with an emblem sticker, or a handcuffs sticker, or a mini flogger on my keychain that it’s really obviously not just a tassel.
I’ve actually been considering making a “Submissive” patch to put on my con vest because I saw one that looked cute. Things like that, although that particular example is pushing it, probably. But since I only wear that vest to conventions (in particular, my convention, where I also ran a BDSM Q&A panel), that’s a safer place than if I were to wear it on a tshirt to the grocery store. IDK
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So many years ago, like… 7 or 8??
I was on fetlife and looking at events, considering getting into the community, and there was a “geek munch” in Reno. And that seemed like right up my alley.We went, and I was so nervous I clung to Sam, and was really kind of quiet, and nervous, and made him handle figuring out where we needed to go and be, and how we were getting the food and I was so incredibly introverted that he was shocked. He’d never seen that side of me before, like “who is this??”
Being used to my loud confident normal self where I’d mostly been with him in spaces I was comfortable -
I definitely have no problem telling anyone I’m kinky. That was one of the things I was broadcasting in my 20’s.
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It would really be nice if everyone was allowed to just be themselves and be accepted but it’s dangerous out there. When I was younger I was definitely a “fucking fight me, normie” person. I still have that spark in me but I’m just so tired
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I feel like sharing a short story about a time I was tying up a friend at a small gathering, at least as best as I remember it because this was like 15ish years ago. We were in his living room and I put him in a chest harness and as a demonstration (and because I love yanking someone around by the rope… or being yanked, whatever), pulled him backwards towards me using the rope along his back. He instinctively stepped backwards… onto my foot, bending my big toe back painfully because I was barefoot inside the apartment or in socks or something like that.
I remained calm and controlled and anyone not paying attention didn’t even notice, but a few people who had noticed were a little freaked like “that looked like it hurt” and I was just like “yeah, it did” but didn’t really acknowledge it more than that.
I was in charge of someone else in that moment, keeping my full attention on them, and just kind of compartmentalized the pain away like “can’t deal with this now… will handle in a bit”. I did deal with my foot after he was untied. Thankfully no damage. Probably could have broken something, but it was just really sore for a bit and didn’t even bother me the following day. Which was good because we were going to Folsom Street Fair the next day and that’s a lot of walking.
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I bought hardware to be able to make a collar. Haven’t done it yet. Bought it towards the end of feeling like making stuff, so it’s in a box for now. I’ll get to eventually
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Had a really great night with Sam and Tim
Sam made steak dinner and I make cookies and we watched a fun movie and cuddled on the couch. ❤️
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DMs are as rare as dominants. Someone finds out you’ll do it and now everyone wants you to do stuff
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Thinking about what it is I really enjoy in a session. And looking up at Tim and seeing his serious face while he’s planning, or concentrating on what he’s doing to me… or seeing that grin while he’s hurting me.
Just… 🦋 🫠 🥵 -
Machine torture is hot in concept. There’s the “this will never get tired, it will never slow down, it will not cave to any pleas for mercy” and if you’re tied in place all you can do is suffer until someone turns it off
no escapeIf you had a program or a timer you set up, or got from someone else, or even something random… once you’re in you have to suffer through the end of the program.
It’s a hot fantasy. Nothing I’d ever want to do, but all the same… hot fantasyIn reality for me, my suffering doesn’t mean much to me if there isn’t a person enjoying me suffering.
The idea of the pain and suffering and whatnot is super hot, but I really need someone there, talking me through it. Enjoying watching me struggle and cry out… -
I don’t fully understand solo impact play. It hits that part of my brain that’s like “this is far too silly” and I feel really stupid doing it so I never have. I once had someone I really liked ask me to and I just . . . couldn’t bring myself to do it.
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Very light and sensual session tonight. Wax play, light impact play, orgasm, scraping the wax off with a knife.
Very very relaxing. Very sensual. His hands all over me, light touches along my back, tracing the wax and raising pleasant goosebumps and shivers.
Scraping the wax off felt so intimate. He was so slow and deliberate as he lifted the wax off with a knife. Felt very “taking care of me.”
If I could literally melt I might have I was so relaxed
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I am a submissive that switches.
That is how I identify.I will tie people up for fun. Torment people for my own amusement. It will “scratch the itch” but it never fully satisfying. I’m happiest and most fulfilled in a submissive role.
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After being with him for 2 years, I actually asked to take a few words off the table.
When we’re playing in general I tend to lose words. I fall inside my head and I can communicate but no real words.
Except when we’re trying new things I keep words near the surface. When words are being kept near the surface I end up saying things like “no” or “stop” when I legitimately don’t mean them because it’s just a knee-jerk reaction to something.
So we’ve actually negotiated that if I want to communicate something’s wrong, those specifically don’t actually mean “no” or “stop” and I need more (or at least different) words than that.A lot of the major reason you need “red” is because you want to be able to say “no” and still have a way of saying “no, but no, really”
But given my issues with code words I had to think really hard about how we could let me still have a knee-jerk reaction and not actually prevent him from doing what he felt like because I didn’t actually mean it.When words are deeper I might get “ssstttt…….” here and there but never actually get a full “stop” out. 😅