I have a POA with Tim so he can talk for me in medical situations. It’s hot, but also practical.

Okay I have a rant. I really hate the common “they are just an abuser, not a real dominant.”

We all know the classic example of a financial submissive. The type who gives control of their finances over to someone else, and in the most infamous cases, gets off on their dominant wasting their money. I’m a different type of financial submissive.

So while I preach to not rely on BDSM for weight loss, I’m also absolutely doing just that. However, the fantasy for most seems to be “I wish I had a dominant who would control what I eat, when I eat, and force me to exercise.” It’s a wonderful fantasy to give up all responsibility for your own health and weight. And there’s no way in hell that Tim would ever agree to that, nor should he.

Did the title catch your attention? Good. It’s not what you think it is, though.
CW- single mention of an unpleasant insect encounter

If you can’t step out of the dynamic when you need to, you shouldn’t be in one.

I got pissed off about the “submissive is always in control” myth and explore the idea some. What’s the reality? Who’s really in control? It’s more nuanced and complicated than saying it’s any one partner.

Many view Findom as just dominants taking money from their subs. This outlook has attracted scammers and predators acting as dominants. Unethical posers have given findom a bad name, but that’s not what findom is really all about. There’s a lot more to it that you (yes you) just might be interested in!

First time experiencing sub drop, and how I got from clueless to getting it sorted.

Handing over medical responsibilities to Tim has eased my anxiety, deepened my trust, and unexpectedly increased my involvement, freeing me from the stress of self-advocacy.

Some early missteps in the scene stemmed from a lack of understanding about consent and negotiation, leading to unclear boundaries and risky dynamics. Clear communication and setting limits are crucial, as I learned through experience.

Being tied up may not be the ideal moment to dive deeper into our dynamic, but that’s just what I did.

Tim and I did a panel! Download the mp3 file.

Bratting is about playful defiance with consent, not an excuse to be a jerk.

From a discussion where someone was asking about finding a task setter on the WFM site. Seemed like good enough advice I wanted to save it here.